smallcatharine posted a comment on Sunday 11th September 2011 9:45am

I really like this one! I thought ch5 was a bit weaker but 6 is up there again. You might want to check again for homophones again, I remember having seen a few, but forgot what exactly 'cause I did'nt jot them down.

I'm curious where you're taking this, and how Molly and Ginny are getting their just deserts. I would like to see an intersection of Fleur's risquee banter and Luna's brand of bizarrity, if it's at all possible.

brad posted a comment on Saturday 10th September 2011 6:49pm

Molly's really becoming quite overbearing / impossible / unbearable in this story ... well, not really, just canon-amplified I think. Her automatically holding Harry and Hermione's funds is just that - automatic. No real malice involved. She had Harry's Gringgott's key in the series, didn't she? At some stage, and then I don't think his source of funds was ever mentioned again.

Ginny's even more obnoxious in her antagonism to Fleur, but again, that's canon!

I love the idea of the 'love letters'. That and the "I'm glad you're back" and so forth. You've got to lump in that sort of cute teenage non-physical signs of infatuation to keep this whole thing as something more engaging than simple smut.

'Tapeworm'. Heh. Good one.

I'm not sure that 'knickers' is the word used to describe a boy's unmentionables. I cringed when I saw it there for Harry. Although it *was* a girl who was talking about them.

canoncansodoff replied:

Thanks for the review...very smart analysis. I'm trying to make "my" Molly very canon-consistent. That she is more overbearing in canon might be explained by the simple fact that she's got more screen time in this story.

I know that "knickers" wasn't gender correct, but "pants" would have confused many of my Yank readers in this instance, and I could justify it just as you suggested because it was a female that asked. I still roll my eyes when, after 20 plus years, my wife still asks me if I want her to iron my blouse.

don dba ccso

steveh11 posted a comment on Tuesday 6th September 2011 7:37am

Oh, I'm *really* enjoying this. Thanks!

Feno3000 posted a comment on Saturday 3rd September 2011 8:04am

Lovely new update bubbling over with ideas and sweet double entendres.
The goblin part was even rather thrilling in his careful elaborate timing.
Nice plan to enhance Fleur's speech patterns.

As to your question in the author's note... i think it's not only "common sense" that hearing and using a language in an every day setting will of course improve your grasp of said language... willingness to improve your speaking provided of course.

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Thursday 1st September 2011 4:39pm

Dang there is a lot of double entendre and outright provocitivism going on. It if was me, I would have already been yelling at Ginny and Molly for their hovering interference and probably taken the floo to Grimwauld and had Hermione, Fleur, and Bill come with me...then blocked everyone else out. This is quite fun so far, and hopefully we will get to stuff without the interference down the road.

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Thursday 1st September 2011 3:17pm

You know, I wonder if that spell couldn't be undone with enough raw power...I can imagine Harry could generate that with enough frustration.

gadriam posted a comment on Thursday 1st September 2011 12:51pm

Very nice. Now, i really don't mind serious smut, but this high-tension banter and innuendo is so much fun to read.
The Goblin side story was brilliant, and gave me many ideas on how to imagine the social structure of Gringott's. Harry and Bill circumnavigating Molly is sorta interesting, now that i understand your reasoning. Yes, they are indoctrinated to her behaviour. I'm a bit curious about the juniors potion brewing. It did kind of look like something that might become important. The Goblins seems to be very keen on keeping Harry happy as well. Something to look forward to.
Thanks, and may Robert Lind in Kramfors bless your keyboard.

g

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Thursday 1st September 2011 12:33pm

Dang...the Twins are naughtier than I thought...and here I was thinking they only thought of pranks. Hermione could not have been any more obvious if she tried.

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Thursday 1st September 2011 11:36am

Now there are some images I need in my head to power my head...Fleur moaning and Hermione moaning; but that was all well cooled by the images of Molly...ugh I want to vomit now.

David Thacker posted a comment on Wednesday 31st August 2011 7:03pm

I like this chapter mostly because of this line "You look very happy, Harry...Have you eaten Hermione?" I think that was the funniest thing I read ever so far.

DJ posted a comment on Wednesday 31st August 2011 5:43pm

This was a fun chapter I like what you are doing with this fic.

Rexnos posted a comment on Wednesday 31st August 2011 4:34pm

I liked this chapter better than the last one. The high point of the last chapter was the magic Fleur used to transfigure the pond. In this chapter, I felt it was the interaction between the goblins. I got a kick out of the idea of a cure for blood lust and a manager with a wall full of battleaxes. Gives a new meaning to the phrase the "old battleaxe".

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to Molly getting what's coming to her. She's meddling really obviously for no decent reason. It's absurd and stupid. She needs to get well and properly owned.

Later,
Rex

Charles Newton posted a comment on Wednesday 31st August 2011 3:42pm

Oh, my! Poor Harry, the monster of Hermione's Hormones has truly arisen with its prey in sight, and is now toying with him... to their mutual satisfaction/frustration. Love it!!

Molly and Ginny are really irritating the last nerve i got; please say that you're coming up with a multitude of ways to suitably chastise them for their efforts?!?! Something as delicate as their own intrusions, insults, sneers and all the rest???

The Goblin scenes were outstanding; hope to see more of them and how you view them and their culture and how the world around them is. Particularly like the battle hardened head Goblin... Kinda reminds me Jethro Gibbs...

Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 31st August 2011 2:33pm

That hint toward the beginning . . . Clearly a manipulative Molly (and Ginny). Wondering if it'll become a thieving Molly and Ginny as well. Hmm. Could have a lot of mileage out of that. Bill (and F&G) track how much money the four of them make then compare it to how much Molly "gives back" to Hermione. And then compare that to how much to Harry. All sorts of possibilities to be had, there.

[unrelenting, hysterical laughter over the gnome cannon]

I think that's the first time I've read a fic where anyone made any kind of effort to "fix" Fleur's accent. Novel idea. I liked the seemingly valid sounding execution. The anvil-sized subtext was just pure entertainment.

Looking forward to more.

canoncansodoff replied:

Thanks for the review.

You know, I wasn't even going out of my way to Molly-bash in that potion profit discussion. Despite my pen name, I'm trying to replicate Molly's canon characterization. So I came up with a "what happens next?" and then let the characters react. I really can't imagine canon Molly doing things differently, especially when she had Harry's vault key in her pocket all summer and didn't see fit to tell him.

Dehvokan posted a comment on Wednesday 31st August 2011 2:12pm

Very amusing. I think that this is the first story that I have read, where a goblin screws up, without them being evil, bribed, or having stolen from Harry. Interesting ideas and interactions. I particularly like the 'pickled smugroot' idea.

As for 'balancing the line', I think you have done a great job. And definitely fits with releasing bursts of hormones between Molly's smothering.

I hope that you will have Molly's attention diverted in the future onto Ron and Ginny more often, following the example of Ginny's 'test question' and the reaction.

canoncansodoff replied:

That's an interesting idea about having Molly focus on Ron and Ginny. Most of Molly's reasons for allowing Ginny's titillating question were related to her wish to split up Bill and Fleur, but there was (at least in my mind) something more...she was embarrassed by Ron's reaction, and would have felt better (and felt it less ill-reflective on her parenting skills) if Harry had reacted the same way.

Hmmm....I really don't want to imagine Molly having a frank discussion with Ron about his reaction to Fleur. But I've been thinking about Arthur needing more screen time....could be really funny, or really, really disturbing.

Wolfric posted a comment on Wednesday 31st August 2011 12:59pm

This is fun. Thanks for writing. W.

Geneva posted a comment on Tuesday 30th August 2011 10:31pm

I am loving this! Can't wait for more!

Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 26th August 2011 1:37pm

Good chapter. Thanks for writing. W.

Dervish posted a comment on Friday 26th August 2011 10:02am

Just out of curiosity you are going along with the wizarding world being positively victorian in morals and standards? If that is the case i doubt Molly would demand Harry give a prized family heirloom to anyone not even her as it is one of the few things he has from his parents. It just would not be done even if she were considering him part of her family the object is a Potter Heirloom not a Weasely/Prewitt Heirloom. Also Molly casting spells on Harry and Hermione even if it is her house is more than just a little hinky. but overall i enjoyed the chapter

canoncansodoff replied:

Molly is a controlling egocentric witch who doesn't think twice about treating Harry and Hermione like they are her necessarily obedient children. Even in canon...look at how she asserted control at Grimmauld Place while Harry's godfather was right there. She knows best, and mollylogic trumps everything else in her mind. Just like Dumbledore, who was the one who told Molly about the cloak in the first place. And who kept that heirloom from Harry until he decided to offer to him as a gift.

Molly casting that spell on Fleur (a 19-year old adult in the wizarding world) is even more hinky, but still fully keeping within her domineering character.

Rexnos posted a comment on Friday 26th August 2011 1:25am

I'm looking forward to the confrontation with Molly. It's bound to happen eventually and it has the potential to be explosive. Granted, it isn't likely to be literally explosive since this isn't an action fic, but it should still be pretty violent.

In any case, fun stuff. I'm impressed by all the witty banter flying back and forth, although I shouldn't be surprised as it's in all your fics. I'm curious to see what you could do with a story a little less romance powered and a little more serious. I'm sure the results would be impressive.

Later,
Rex

canoncansodoff replied:

Thanks for the review.

I write the kind of stories that I like to read...and sometimes have troubles finding elsewhere. There are lots of great, serious action fics out there (many on this site)...I'm happy for now to stay in the niche that I've settled into. And so long as I'm not regurgitating the same lines and same plot twists? Although, Muggle Summer probably comes close to meeting your specs.